Drowning Into You
by LoveUnspoken
Summary: Spencer Hastings is in love. The problem? She is in a long-term relationship with two different people. One is with a man, the other with a woman. As certain events start to change in her life, Spencer must make the difficult choice of breaking one of their hearts. The question is; who will she choose? A/U style.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

* * *

 _"We can't keep doing this." Hanna says as she starts to feel the buttons on her blouse come undone and soft lips on her neck. Her eyes instantly closing as she bites her bottom lip to suppress a moan._

 _"I know."_

 _"You're married, Spence." Hanna adds as a soft moan escapes her._

 _"Engaged," Spencer corrects as she pulls back just enough to look into Hanna's blue eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"_

 _"No." Hanna said but a few seconds later, she slowly nodded her head. "Yes." She paused slightly, breaking eye contact with Spencer. "I just don't want you to regret anything now that your new relationship has taken a leap forward."_

 _Spencer reached one of her hands up and let her thumb caress Hanna's cheek. "Regret what we are doing or regret you? Because whichever one you are thinking right now, the answer is no. I will never, not in a million years, regret our relationship or you Hanna."_

 _"You say that now but what about when it gets closer to your wedding? What happens after the wedding?" Hanna said as she took a step back from Spencer's close embrace, suddenly needing extra space between the two of them. "We can't keep doing this forever Spence."_

 _"Where is all this coming from Han? We've been together since we were 18 and now all of a sudden, 6 years later, you want to call it quits because I'm engaged. Why now?" Spencer questioned with her tone coming off stronger than intended._

 _Hanna just slowly lowered her head to hide her tears, unable to give an answer._

 _Taking a step forward, Spencer placed one of her hands under Hanna's chin and raised her head. Her other hand gently wiping away the falling tears. "I'm sorry pretty girl; I don't mean to make you upset." She said while dropping one hand and pulling Hanna tight into a hug. "I don't have to marry him." She muttered into Hanna's hair._

 _"Yes, you do." She replied tightening her arms around Spencer's body with fresh tears making their way down her cheeks._

 _"I wish I could marry you." Spencer whispered, her own voice starting to give way that she was having trouble keeping her emotions in check._

 _"I know Spence," She placed a soft kiss to Spencer's neck. "I know."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1:**

 ** _5:00 am._**

To Spencer Hastings, the particular hour was usually one of bliss, the start of her morning routine, but on mornings such as these; she wished the hour would never arrive.

Lying in her bed, wrapped up in her arms, sleeping soundly was her best friend/ girl-friend Hanna Marin. With a smile, she gently moved a strand of hair from Hanna's shoulder and placed a soft kiss on her bare skin.

As perfect as this moment was, Spencer knew that in another few hours it would be nothing more than a memory for her to relive until their next night together.

 _The problem behind this was Spencer was in a relationship already._

 _To a **man**. _

_A man that she started dating during her junior year of high school when she was still unsure of her own sexual orientation._

 _She had spent the rest of that year trying to come to terms with who she was and during the summer before her senior year, she found out. Spencer came to understand that she was bi-sexual and the girl she was crushing on just happened to be her best friend, Hanna._

 _During her senior year, Spencer's crush had turned into something more and after confessing her feelings to Hanna and learning she felt the same way, the pair decided to give dating a try with the promise from Spencer to end her previous relationship._

 _That was 6 years ago._

Placing another kiss to Hanna's skin, she slowly started to try an untangle herself from Hanna's embrace but before she could even more an arm, Hanna was gripping her tighter. "Don't go." She muttered.

Spencer smiled. "It's after 5."

"Stay longer, please, just this once."

"You know I can't."

"Please," She begged again. "What if I promise to make it totally worth it?" She bargained as she placed light kisses to the side of Spencer's neck in hopes to change her mind.

"A promise like that will make me late for work." She replied, already knowing in the back of her mind that she was going to lose this battle and end up staying longer.

"So, is that a yes?" Hanna asked as she let one of her hands tease their way down the front of Spencer's body, stopping when her fingertips reached the top of her panties.

Using her now free arm, Spencer reached up to cup the side of Hanna's face, letting her fingers get lost within her blonde hair. "When have I ever said no to you pretty girl." She said before pulling Hanna closer and connecting their lips.

Spencer ended up only being a half hour late to work that morning but as Hanna promised, it was definitely worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2:**

"Hastings!" A loud male voice called from down the hall. "Little girl in two needs her IV bag changed."

"Okay, Dr. Tyler, on my way." She replied as she placed the chart she was currently updating down on her desk. After grabbing a new bag, she entered the little girl's room with a smile. "Hi," She said as she walked to over to the stand, using her free hand to pull out a pair of gloves. "My name is Spencer and I'm just here to change your IV okay? I promise it won't hurt at all."

The little girl just nodded slowly as she watched Spencer work. "I like your name." She said softly.

"Thank you," She smiled. "What's your name?" Spencer asked.

"Kelsey."

"I like your name too." She said earning herself a big smile from the small girl.

"Are you one of my doctors?"

"Afraid not sweetie, but I am going to be your nurse for the afternoon so if you need anything at all, you just ask for me, okay?"

"Okay Spencer."

"I'll check back on you in a little bit." Spencer said as she made her way out of the room with a small wave and a smile.

Closing the door behind her, she walked across the small hallway and disposed of the empty bag and gloves before making her way back to her desk.

She managed to only get halfway to her desk when she noticed a tall brown-haired man holding flowers leaning against her station. Matching his smile, she made her way over to him, letting him pull her into a hug. "Toby, I thought you were getting in late tonight." She asked after the brief kiss they shared.

"The airlines had an earlier flight open. I figured it would be a nice surprise." He said while handing her the flowers. "Do you have much longer on your shift?"

"I'm on until 7:00." She said stepping out of his embrace and moving behind her desk. "Did you have any plans in mind for tonight?"

Checking his watch, Toby looked back up with a grin. "I do."

"Are you going to tell me about them?"

"Nope." He said without missing a beat.

"You do remember I hate surprises right?" She asked smiling.

"Yep," Toby grinned once more as he leaned over the counter, giving her a quick kiss. "I'll see you later tonight beautiful. Enjoy the rest of your shift."

"Bye babe." She said watching him walk back down the hall and out of view.

"Those are pretty, boy-friend bring them by?" One of her co-workers asked as they sat down in their own chair.

"Yeah, he came home early from his business trip, wanted to surprise me."

"That's sweet." She said as she opened a chart. "How long you two been together?"

"We started dating during our junior year of high school. Our 7 year anniversary is next month."

"Wow, 7 years and he still brings you flowers and surprises you? You are one lucky girl Hastings."

"Yeah," Spencer let her voice trail off a bit. "More than I deserve."

 _Her mind instantly thought of Hanna. She knew she was very lucky that Hanna was still with her after everything Spencer had/was putting her through in the last 6 years._

 _Spencer never meant to have both relationships going on this long at the same-time, but every time she even thought about calling it off with Toby, her heart would break and she would find a reason to hold off._

 _After her second failed attempt to break it off, Spencer confessed to Hanna about how she couldn't live without either of them in her life. For the first time since coming to understand herself, she felt complete in knowing that she found two different people that made her feel whole and it was a feeling she didn't think she could let go._

 _It was a big surprise when Hanna said she understood and would stay with Spencer regardless of the relationship with Toby. It was in that very moment that Spencer realized how lucky she was and that every day with each of them was a blessing. One that she hoped would last a lifetime._

"Nothing ever lasts forever." She muttered to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3:**

With her shift just minutes away from ending, Spencer was in the process of making her final rounds of her patients. As she approached one of the doorways, a smile appeared on her face.

The room belonged to the young girl, Kelsey, which she had taken care of a few times in the last couple of hours. "Knock knock." She said as she entered the room, earning once again a big smile from the girl.

"Spencer!" Kelsey beamed.

"How are we feeling this evening?" Spencer asked as she slipped on a pair of her gloves and began to check the two IVs stands.

"The same as last time you asked me." She laughed.

Spencer laughed as well. "Okay, well that is good. Your stomach isn't bothering you too much on this new medication right?" She asked as she turned to face the small girl.

Kelsey shook her head. "Nope. Mommy and daddy are down at the cafeteria getting me some ice cream. Do you want to stay and share it with me?"

"Oh I wish I could Kel, but I'm actually on my way home for the night. I just wanted to come by and check up on you one more time before my shift ended." Spencer said. "But if you like, I'm on again in two days and I'll bring some ice cream for us to share on my break okay?" She added when she saw the small girl's face drop into a pout.

"Really?" Her face lit right up as Spencer had hoped. "You would do that for me?"

"Course I would! What's your favorite?"

"The twist one with chocolate and vanilla."

"That's my favorite too." _And Hanna's_. She thought to herself just as her watch beeped to alert her of the new hour. "Alright Kelsey, I gotta go now, but I will see you in two days with twist ice cream, okay?" She asked with a smile.

"Yes, thank you Spencer, I can't wait! See you in two days!"

With one last wave, Spencer was out of the room and off to the break room to punch out for the night. After grabbing her coat and bag out of her locker, she headed to her desk to grab her flowers from Toby.

"Goodnight ladies. All my patients are good and signed off for the next shift. See you in two days."

"Night Hastings." The other nurses said as Spencer made her way down the hall.

Walking down to her car, Spencer pulled out her cell phone and hit number 1 on her speed dial. Placing the phone to her ear, she waited for the call to answered.

"I was just about to call you." The voice on the other line said.

"Were you now?" Spencer teased. "I somehow don't believe you because I can clearly hear 'E News' on in the background very loudly Han."

Hanna laughed. "Fine, you caught me. I wasn't just about to call you but to my defense, I was going to call you after the program ended."

"Mhmm, sure you were." She said with a smile as she reached her car and pulled out her keys. "How was your day?" She asked changing the subject while entering her SUV.

"Long. You remember that new assistant I hired a few months back?" Hanna asked.

"Yes."

"Well, I had to fire her today."

"What happened?" Spencer asked as she leaned back against her seat.

"I'm not 100% sure to be honest with you. We all thought she was doing a great job, only to come to find out that she had been leaking out our designs to other fashion companies for extra money. Had a meeting with the other owners and we had to let her go."

"Oh babe, I'm sorry. I know how much you liked that girl."

"I did but I'll just find a new one. I always do." Hanna said with a sigh. "Enough about my day, how was yours?"

"Long." She teased once again, fully knowing that if Hanna had been in front of her, she would have gotten a slap from the blonde.

"You're a jack ass." Hanna said laughing. "Really though, how was your shift?"

"It was a good day, honest. I know I see and try to help a lot of sick kids on a daily bases and usually my response to that question is always grim but today was good."

"That is great Spence. I still don't know how you can work at a children's hospital and not get upset every time a small child comes in hurt, sick or dying. I give you so much credit baby because I know I would be balling my eyes out every two seconds."

"You can thank the Hastings upbringing for that one." Spencer said rolling her eyes slightly just as her phone chimed to alert her of a text message. Looking down at her watch, she let out a small groan; she was going to be late for dinner.

"What's wrong?" Hanna asked hearing the noise.

"Toby just messaged me. Wondering how much longer I am going to be at the hospital. I am running late for our dinner plans."

"Oh," Hanna said softly. "Well, I better let you go than, call me tomorrow."

Upon hearing the deflating tone in Hanna's voice, Spencer instantly wished she were in front of Hanna so she could wrap her arms around her and kiss her. "We don't have to hang up babe; I still have a 15 minute ride home. Please, I want to talk to you until I pull into the parking lot." Spencer begged.

"What's there to talk about?" Hanna asked after a few long seconds of silence.

Spencer smiled, fully knowing that Hanna wasn't going to end their call just yet. "Oh, there are a lot of different things we can talk about in the next 15 minutes." Spencer said as she put her phone on speaker while starting her car.

"Is there?" She questioned, a bit of a challenge radiating from her tone.

"There is. Starting with have I told you today how much I love you?" She asked as she backed out of her spot and started to drive out of the parking garage.

"No," Hanna paused for a moment, pretending to think. "I don't believe I heard you say it today."

"Well, let me fix that right now. I love you pretty girl, so very much."

"I love you too Spence." She answered without missing a beat.

"So, you want to hear some rumors that the girls were telling me today?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4:**

The girls said their goodbyes just as Spencer pulled into her spot in the parking garage. Placing her phone back into her packet, she turned off the car, grabbed her bag, flowers, and exited the SUV.

It only took an extra 5 minutes to reach her apartment floor and after unlocking the door, she was welcomed with darkness. "Toby?" She called out while flicking on a light by the door to illuminate the small hallway and kitchen.

"Bedroom!" She heard him call in reply.

Dropping her bag by the door, she walked to the kitchen and placed the flowers on the counter while she went to one of the cabinets to grab a vase. Once she had the flowers placed in the water, she made her way to their bedroom.

Opening the door, she was surprised to see Toby sitting on their bed with at least 10 different food containers all around him, plus on the side table next to him sat a stack of movies. "Wow," She said as she took a few steps into the room smiling. "So this is what you had planned for tonight?"

"Sort of." He smiled and patted the empty spot next to him. "I have all your favorites here."

"I can see that." She teased as she slipped off her shoes before making her way to the bed. "What's our movie selection?"

"Old school classics." Toby said reaching for the remote and after pressing a few buttons, an old black and white movie began to play.

"Another favorite of mine."

"I know," He smiled while handing her a plate. "Everything should still be warm." He added as he started to open up container tops.

The pair took the next few minutes to fill their plates and in silence, they enjoyed the opening credits that rolled on the TV screen.

"How was the rest of your shift?" Toby asked after taking a sip of his beer.

"Much to my surprise, it was good. No one died today." She said as she stabbed a piece of chicken a little harder with her fork.

"Spence.." Toby started but she cut him off.

"I'm fine, really." She gave him a smile. "You would think after all this time I would be used to all the sadness that the hospital gives off."

"I think it's a good thing that you're not used to it. Means you really care about each one of those kids and that is one of the many reasons why everyone loves you."

"Thanks babe. I love you too." She said leaning over and giving him a quick kiss. "How was the conference in LA?"

"The most boring 4 days of my life. I swear, they talk about the same things every year but just change the speaker in hopes that no one notices."

Spencer let out a laugh. "Wow that sounds exactly like our monthly meetings at the hospital."

"Bet they use the same key note speaker for both." Toby teased.

"Older man with a beard that talks in a monotone voice that puts everyone to sleep after 10 minutes?"

"How'd you know?"

The couple laughed at their shared joke.

"On a side note, I do have another business trip that I am required to attend." He added in once their laughter faded.

"You just got back."

"I know."

"And you're leaving again."

"I know," He reached over and took her hand in his. "This is a quick trip, I promise."

"How long?"

"Two days but I have to leave in the morning."

Spencer just shook her head and got off the bed. "So why even come home if you knew you just had to leave not even 24 hours later?"

"Because I wanted to see you," He said copying her moves. "And because I missed you."

"You haven't been home for more than a day or two in the last few months. Why was tonight so different?"

Toby smiled. "Close your eyes."

"What?" Spencer asked confused by his random request.

"Close your eyes." He repeated still smiling.

"Why?"

"Spence c'mon," He said laughing and walked over to her, placing one of his hands over her eyes. "Keep them shut, no peeking."

"Fine fine, whatever you say." She said swatting his hand away. She heard him walk out of the room and a minute later, his footsteps returning. "Can I open my eyes now?" She asked.

"No, not yet, few more seconds."

"Once again, you know I hate surprises right?"

"This might be the one surprise that you actually enjoy."

"Doubt it." She muttered to herself while she crossed her arms in front of her chest and let out a dramatic sigh.

"None of that or I won't give it to you." He teased.

"Give what to me?"

"Open your eyes and find out."

Spencer didn't waste another second. She quickly opened her eyes and let out a small gasp when she saw Toby in front of her down on one knee with a ring held out in front of him.

"Will you marry me Spencer Jill Hastings?" He asked with a smile.

Spencer just stared at the ring, too shocked from his surprise to answer.


End file.
